Fat Cat Bankers Plea for Mercy: A Reflection on the City's Decline

The fat cats are wailing in the Sunday Times this morning. The self-proclaimed custodians of the UK’s financial prowess, perched high in their gleaming glass towers, are suddenly struck by an existential crisis. “The City is dying!” they declare, tears no doubt glistening as they sip their vintage claret. Meanwhile, Britons shiver in their homes, wrestling with heating or eating decisions, as pensioners forgo winter fuel payments and the homeless brace themselves against the bitter cold. But never mind them — the real victims, apparently, are the bankers.

Let’s examine the tragedy of these beleaguered titans of finance. A shrinking stock market, dwindling IPOs, and an exodus of capital to New York have rendered the City’s once-mighty trading floors eerily silent. According to City veterans, it’s a crisis of liquidity. To the average Brit, however, it might look more like a crisis of conscience.

The Audacity of the Growth Agenda

Let’s not forget, the same City elite now lamenting the sorry state of their industry were instrumental in shaping the very policies that hollowed it out. Government after government, seduced by the siren call of the growth agenda, prioritised short-term financial gains over long-term stability. Deregulation, tax loopholes, and unfettered globalisation were supposed to be the golden ticket. Instead, they led to an ecosystem that devours itself, with US giants swallowing UK stalwarts and the nation’s tax base vanishing overseas.

Ironically, as the financiers fret over dwindling profits, ordinary Britons, already bled dry by cost-of-living increases, are expected to care. The City screams for reforms — slash stamp duty on shares, mandate pension investments in UK equities, or tax-penalise overseas investments! The gall of it is almost impressive.

Pensioners, the Convenient Scapegoat

A favourite villain in this tragicomedy is, of course, the UK pension industry. The fact that pension funds have shifted their investments away from domestic stocks is painted as an act of betrayal. Never mind that this shift has delivered better returns for the pensioners these funds serve. The City’s solution? Force pension schemes to pump cash back into UK equities, regardless of performance, because patriotism trumps practicality, right?

Here’s a thought: perhaps pensioners, who’ve spent lifetimes contributing to this economy, deserve better than to have their savings tied up in a failing market just to prop up banker bonuses. If the UK stock market isn’t delivering returns, maybe the fault lies not with the pensioners but with the system itself.

Reform or Rhetoric?

The proposed solutions range from laughable to draconian. Abolish stamp duty on share trading, they cry, conveniently glossing over the billions it contributes to public coffers. Introduce equity ISAs to replace cash ISAs, never mind that it forces savers into riskier assets. And then there’s the pièce de résistance: linking pension tax relief to domestic investments. Imagine the outcry if a plumber in Leeds discovered their pension was being redirected to save some hedge fund’s skin in Mayfair.

These "reforms" are less about fixing the system and more about tilting the playing field in favour of the already wealthy. The City isn’t dying because of a lack of reforms; it’s dying because it prioritised profits over purpose for decades.

If British leaders truly want to outperform the S&P 500, they might consider swapping their well-worn mantra of greed for something a little more radical—like love. Yes, love. As the Firms of Endearment study reveals, today’s most successful companies aren’t driven by boardroom back-slapping or lining shareholders’ pockets. Instead, they thrive on passion and purpose, creating profits by ensuring all their stakeholders flourish—customers, employees, investors, partners, communities, and society itself. Imagine that! Businesses acting in ways that inspire admiration and even love, rather than disdain. These firms don’t just make money; they make the world a better place.

A novel concept, isn’t it? Perhaps our captains of industry could pause their obsession with short-term gains and consider the revolutionary idea that treating people decently might actually yield dividends. After all, what’s more likely to drive real growth: another soulless quarterly report, or a company that people genuinely care about? The evidence is clear, but then again, when has evidence ever stood in the way of corporate Britain’s appetite for self-interest?

A Nation of Investors?

Another favourite refrain from the bankers’ hymn sheet is that Britain lacks a culture of investing. Apparently, if only more Brits had the foresight to gamble their meagre savings on the FTSE, the City wouldn’t be in this mess. This notion, dripping with condescension, ignores the lived reality of most Britons. When you’re choosing between heating your home and feeding your family, the thought of snapping up shares in Morrisons or GlaxoSmithKline doesn’t exactly rank high on the list.

Mercy for the Fat Cats?

So here we are, with bankers pleading for mercy. But the crocodile tears fail to move. While the City may be “dying,” it’s worth asking whether this death might be more akin to a much-needed reckoning. Perhaps the collapse of this growth-at-any-cost model will make way for a more sustainable, equitable financial system. One that serves the nation rather than leeching off it.

For now, though, let’s spare no sympathy for the fat cats. If they want to save their City, perhaps they should start by looking in the mirror — though, given their penchant for turning crises into profits, that seems unlikely.